Cerebral Squalls

I remember the days, after I was done with my chemo-therapy treatments — the first time round, 36 years ago. I recall the times when these dark storm clouds would roll over my mind and everything looked so hopeless. Some chemo treatments are largely hormonal, so they mess yours up so bad.
Blogger Stacey LePage describes these times so effectively in her poem and has kindly permitted me to share it with you.

 

In The Corner

They come and blow your mind away
They make mountains of your thoughts
They will gather strong in billowed clouds
You will find yourself distraught

The sky can blacken all around
Will cause your heart to race
You fear the wrath the clouds may bring
As you quicken up your pace

Then as quickly as it came
It moves along the sky
And out of view the squall does pass
To leave you high and dry

You feel the warmth upon your face
It melts and thaws your mind
You stop and pause and close your eyes
To leave the past behind

The moment seems to slow right down
Life stops and takes a breath
Living in the here and now
Gives minute of brain refresh

Then

There is it, yet once again
The storm is suddenly nigh
You’ve seen it once, you’ll see it again
And know it will…

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Learning From A Loss

SHARING

by Edgar Guest

We who have wept together
know what it means to love,
we who have suffered sorrow,
strewn roses a mound above,
and knelt on the ground together
to whisper a common prayer
with trembling lips and hearts aching
know what it means to share.

Time was we danced together
and laughed as the days went by.
Month after month we romped through
with never a tear in her eye.
We fancied we loved each other,
but little of life we knew
and I was a jesting comrade
with only my work to do

Then suddenly sorrow found us.
Out there by a tiny grave
we learned what it means to be tender
and just what it means to be brave.
We learned that love deepens and strengthens
by hurts it is asked to bear,
and out of our common heartache
we learned what it means to share.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From the book, Collected Verse of Edgar A. Guest
Copyright 1934 by Contemporary Books, Inc.
Chicago, IL, USA

Happy Family Meals

I woke up early this morning and thought of our US friends, for whom the Thanksgiving holiday is over. I came across this lighthearted poem by Edgar Guess and thought I should post it for those moms who are busy cleaning up and washing tablecloths after the family feast.

Table-Cloths

Some people, when they sit to eat,
prefer to see the table neat.
They want the linen spotless white,
the glasses dazzling in the light,
the silverware in trim array.
But as for me, I often say,
“Give me glad childhood’s tablecloth
well stained with jelly, milk and broth.

Not long in peace could I abide
in houses cold with pomp and pride
or dwell where dignity commands
precision’s care from little hands.
I much prefer the happier place
illumined by a smiling face—
the dining room where soon, I know,
a glass of milk will over go.

Be mine the room with laughter filled
where no one frets o’er what is spilled.
For what are tablecloths that they
should drive all merriment away?
And why think accidents a crime,
especially at dinner-time?
They gather sorrow for their pains
who make too much of jelly stains.

I should not like to always dine
where silverware and glasses shine
and linen white outlasts the meal—
too sad and lonely should I feel.
In tablecloths I take no pride;
I want the children at my side.
My joy is in those splotches red
when jelly dances from the bread.

.
From his book Collected Verse of Edgar A. Guest
© 1934 by the Reilly & Lee Company

Small Smiles #1

TAILOR IN RESIDENCE

One day a young girl had a mishap at school and cut her chin severely. Her mother drove her to the Emergency at the Vancouver General Hospital and soon a doctor was busy putting stitches in her chin. At one point during this painful process the little girl looked up at him through her tears and asked, “Do you make your own clothes?”

🙂

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reblogged from Christine Composes.com

A Wandering, Carefree Life

The Happy Toad

by Edgar Guest

As I was walking down the road
I met an ugly, grinning toad
who squatted in the shade and said:
“I never wish that I were dead.
Wherever I may chance to stray
I find rich food along the way;
I have no dreams I can’t fulfill;
I owe no other toad a bill.
In slimy places I abide
but with them I am satisfied.
My little children I forsook
as tadpoles in a nearby brook;
I know not where they are, nor care.
I have no burdens I must bear.
At night I never lie awake.
My bitterest enemy is the snake.
I have no taxes, no beliefs,
no cares, ambitions, hopes or griefs;
no clothes to buy, no cash to lose,
no tools that I must learn to use.
I sing no dirges, tell no jokes.
I’m just a jumping toad who croaks;
contented, placid, happy I
shall be until the day I die.”
~~~
Yet as I trudged along the road
I thought, “Who wants to be a toad?”

.
From his book, Collected Verse of Edgar A. Guest
©1934 by the Reilly & Lee Co

Daily prompt word: aimless

In Life’s Cherry Bowl I’ve Hit A Pit Stop

God’s Promise

God’s promise is not freedom
from trials in the race
but power to transcend them
through His sufficing grace.
Not rest instead of labor
but in the labor rest.
Not calm instead of tempest
but calm when sore distressed.

Not light instead of darkness,
not joy instead of grief
but brightness in the midnight
and in the woe, relief.
Not gain instead of losses,
not ease instead of pain
but balm upon the anguish
and losses bringing gain.

Not strength instead of weakness,
not smile instead of tears,
not peace instead of conflict,
not song instead of fears
but weakness filled with power
and tears with radiance spread
and peace amid the battle
and song ‘ere fears are fled.

Author Unknown

Personal update:

As most of my readers here know, I’ve been dealing with a type of leukemia called CLL. I was diagnosed about three years ago but my case wasn’t that bad so the doctors took a “wait and watch” approach. My white cell count has been slowly creeping up for the past two years, but not enough to treat.

Unfortunately, the disease has been getting worse since the end of November and I’ve been feeling the effects of a compromised immune system. I have so little energy, so many sweats, and feel like I’m constantly on the verge of a cold/ sore throat/ sinus infection. I had an appointment at the Cancer Clinic on Thursday and my oncologist says it’s time to go ahead and start chemo-therapy.

I’m booked for a CAT scan March 8th, then an appointment March 18th to hear the results and set up treatment times. There’s no cure but the treatment will bring my white cell count back down and that should give me more energy. The treatment chemotherapy by IV two days in a row, once every four weeks, starting at the beginning of April and going for six months.

Up until now my Cancer Clinic visits have left me feeling a bit down. Wondering when treatments would start, then trying to “just forget about it for awhile longer.” Now I’m actually relieved: the time has come; something will be done. Yes, there will be a few rough months ahead — but instead of waiting to get even sicker, I can look forward to feeling better when the treatments are over.I intend to keep on blogging on this site, but posts may be sporadic at times.